butch girls and femme girls both are taught to hate girls & hate themselves as girls and we gotta grow out of that in the same ways, we gotta love each other and ourselves, & we gotta find ways to feel like we belong with each other and can trust each other. fuck yelling @ butch girls about how they wear shorts because they’re self-hating and trying to fit in with men & fuck yelling @ femme girls about how they wear winged eyeliner b/c they’re fake and trying to impress men
i’m against a feminism of primitive accumulation - an idea that men and women were once equal but men gained power by developing a monopoly on inherently powerful things, rather than developing institutions that gave men as a whole power over women as a whole, intertwined with the development of…
I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
Inside Junot Díaz’s class at MIT: What the writer wants his students to read
After Díaz wrote an essay criticizing MFA programs in the New Yorker, Salon got a look at his class syllabus
This is an incredible reading list.
World Building: Some things to consider always when taking on a new world: What are its primary features—spatial, cultural, biological, fantastic, cosmological? What is the world’s ethos (the guiding beliefs or ideals that characterize the world)? What are the precise strategies that are used by its creator to convey the world to us and us to the world? How are our characters connected to the world? And how are we the viewer or reader or player connected to the world?
A Princess of Mars by ER Burroughs
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller
Sunshine by Robin McKinley
V for Vendetta by Alan Moore
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by NK Jemisin
Lilith’s Brood by Octavia Butler
Perdido Street Station by China Miéville
Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson (Recommended)
Advanced Fiction: No sign of Alice Munro or Francine Prose here. As Díaz told Salon: “If race or gender (or any other important social force) are not part of your interpretive logic—if they’re not part of what you consider the real—then you’re leaving out most of what has made our world our world. This is a long way of saying that it’s not the books you teach, but how you teach them.”
Clara by Roberto Bolaño
Hitting Budapest by NoViolet Bulawayo
Whites by Julie Otsuka
Ghosts by Edwidge Danticat
My Good Man by Eric Gansworth
Gold Boy, Emerald Girl by Yiyun Li
Bounty by George Saunders
I am not Mike Brown. I am white. I am middle class. I am female. I am small. I am not considered a threat. When police see me they see someone who looks like them. They see their mothers, their daughters, their sisters, themselves. I am not at risk of being shot by police for existing while black. I am not at risk of being shot while unarmed. I am not at risk of being shot while armed with nothing more than a BB gun. I am not at risk of being shot for reaching for my wallet. I am privileged.
But I am outraged. And if you aren’t outraged, then you aren’t paying attention. This is America in 2014. This is our reality. It’s so easy to get jaded and to ignore these atrocities, to act like this doesn’t affect us. It’s so easy to get apathetic. In the past it was the youth who protested. Where is the rage of the youth? Where is our rage?
Like I said, I am not Mike Brown. But I am outraged.
When women scream you wonder what’s wrong with them. When men yell you get afraid about what they’re going to do.
please do not let ferguson die out like everything else big does. do not let this die out. do not let this continue on for three days and then everyone forget about it. do not let this happen.
queue this post up 3 days from now, a week from now, a month from now, a month from then. make sure even if you forget your blog will remember.
westerners are obsessed with the idea of happiness as if it’s a constant state of being. happiness comes in moments. you dont “achieve” happiness. you experience it along with every other emotion on the spectrum. if you spend your life chasing this constructed idea of happiness you will never even be remotely content. work on being whole and feeling everything while increasing the happy moments. stop trying to be a “happy person.” just be a person.